I was just about to leave for work when I noticed there was a dog in my backyard. I stopped and checked the dog's collar and then tried to contact the the owner. Just a couple minutes after this, some random old lady came running out of the woods into my backyard.
She was chasing a chicken...
I went to speak to the lady, but I was getting nervous, because by this time I was already late for work. However, just before I went to speak with her, I woke up from my nightmare...
Driving to Work
Relieved, I got up, went through my morning routine and headed off to work for real. Now I normally never hit traffic on my way to work (only about four times in two years). However within ten minutes of driving, the traffic came to a complete stop (Due to an accident up ahead). It took me 20 minutes to drive the next five miles and get through the congestion. By that time I was already on pace to be late for work.
Colleague in the Window
I finally arrived at work about 15 minutes late. Upon walking into the office building, I noticed my colleague trying to take a picture of me through the window.
As soon as I saw her I tried walking quickly to get out of photo range. (The reason for this is that my colleagues have a new hobby these days called blackmail.) I entered the building and headed down the hall to my desk. Normal people would usually be greeted with a simple good morning. Unfortunately according to my colleagues I'm not normal.
Here's how the rest of the day went.
Window Colleague: "I clocked you at 9:17..."
I don't remember if I said anything, but I continued down the hall hoping to get to my desk safely.
Colleague #1: "Hey I don't know if you know this, but work starts at 9 A.M."
Me: "Ughh"
Colleague #1: "I guess when you're a supervisor you can do anything you want."
Colleague #2: "Correction... Stupervisor."
Colleague #3: "It's his world we're just living in it."
(I shook my head and sat at my desk. I turned on my computer and it immediately shut down. Then it restarted by itself. I'm still not sure why.)
Note for rest of post: Colleague #1 often refers to himself as my "good buddy".
One Hour Later
(There was a scheduled meeting that my "good buddy" and I were supposed to attend in a few minutes.)
Me: "Do you know where this meeting is going to be?"
Good Buddy: "I don't know, I didn't set it up. Quit busting my balls about this f****** meeting. I'm going to punch you in the throat."
Colleague #3: "Why don't you just go back to your desk and do fantasy football research for the next six hours. It's not like you do anything anyway."
Me: "Thank you."
At The Meeting.
I assumed we would be talking about work related matters before the meeting started.
Nope.
Instead, I was lucky enough to be subjected to the following conversation.
Good Buddy: "I'm just going to jab him in the throat."
Colleague #4: "And you would be right to do so."
Me: "Oh my god, what is wrong with you people!!!"
Later That Day
After couple more meetings I got back to my desk only to find that my keyboard was missing. Luckily my "good buddy" came over and showed me that I had accidentally dropped my keyboard behind my desk.
I thanked my "good buddy" and reassured him that I would try to be more careful next time. Some people misplace their phone or their keys. I lost my entire keyboard without even being at my desk. Crazy.
A short while after I had to attend yet another meeting. Unfortunately, I returned back to my desk only to find that my computer mouse was now missing.
Luckily one of my colleagues found it sitting on the very top of my cubicle. We were thinking it just crawled off my desk and found its way up there. There is really no other reasonable answer...
Just another normal Thursday. What a fun fun fun fun fun day. I just can't wait for tomorrow.
She was chasing a chicken...
I went to speak to the lady, but I was getting nervous, because by this time I was already late for work. However, just before I went to speak with her, I woke up from my nightmare...
Driving to Work
Relieved, I got up, went through my morning routine and headed off to work for real. Now I normally never hit traffic on my way to work (only about four times in two years). However within ten minutes of driving, the traffic came to a complete stop (Due to an accident up ahead). It took me 20 minutes to drive the next five miles and get through the congestion. By that time I was already on pace to be late for work.
Colleague in the Window
I finally arrived at work about 15 minutes late. Upon walking into the office building, I noticed my colleague trying to take a picture of me through the window.
As soon as I saw her I tried walking quickly to get out of photo range. (The reason for this is that my colleagues have a new hobby these days called blackmail.) I entered the building and headed down the hall to my desk. Normal people would usually be greeted with a simple good morning. Unfortunately according to my colleagues I'm not normal.
Here's how the rest of the day went.
Window Colleague: "I clocked you at 9:17..."
I don't remember if I said anything, but I continued down the hall hoping to get to my desk safely.
Colleague #1: "Hey I don't know if you know this, but work starts at 9 A.M."
Me: "Ughh"
Colleague #1: "I guess when you're a supervisor you can do anything you want."
Colleague #2: "Correction... Stupervisor."
Colleague #3: "It's his world we're just living in it."
(I shook my head and sat at my desk. I turned on my computer and it immediately shut down. Then it restarted by itself. I'm still not sure why.)
Note for rest of post: Colleague #1 often refers to himself as my "good buddy".
One Hour Later
(There was a scheduled meeting that my "good buddy" and I were supposed to attend in a few minutes.)
Me: "Do you know where this meeting is going to be?"
Good Buddy: "I don't know, I didn't set it up. Quit busting my balls about this f****** meeting. I'm going to punch you in the throat."
Colleague #3: "Why don't you just go back to your desk and do fantasy football research for the next six hours. It's not like you do anything anyway."
Me: "Thank you."
At The Meeting.
I assumed we would be talking about work related matters before the meeting started.
Nope.
Instead, I was lucky enough to be subjected to the following conversation.
Good Buddy: "I'm just going to jab him in the throat."
Colleague #4: "And you would be right to do so."
Me: "Oh my god, what is wrong with you people!!!"
Later That Day
After couple more meetings I got back to my desk only to find that my keyboard was missing. Luckily my "good buddy" came over and showed me that I had accidentally dropped my keyboard behind my desk.
I thanked my "good buddy" and reassured him that I would try to be more careful next time. Some people misplace their phone or their keys. I lost my entire keyboard without even being at my desk. Crazy.
A short while after I had to attend yet another meeting. Unfortunately, I returned back to my desk only to find that my computer mouse was now missing.
Luckily one of my colleagues found it sitting on the very top of my cubicle. We were thinking it just crawled off my desk and found its way up there. There is really no other reasonable answer...
Just another normal Thursday. What a fun fun fun fun fun day. I just can't wait for tomorrow.
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