My Team's Depiction of a Warm Welcome

Being that we had some very important guests visiting our office this week, my team was well aware that providing a unique, world-class welcome was critical.  

Note: For story telling purposes, the visiting company's name was "Vocation".

In order to come up with this outstanding welcome, we decided to have a quick brainstorming session first. Here is a rough illustration of how our meeting went.

The meeting kicked off with a great positive vibe.

Team Member #1: "Oh, there's no way they'll be here on time. I'm calling it now."

Me: "Okay...that's not really a warm welcome" Or really any kind of welcome at all.

Team Member #2: "How about we all greet them in a different language?" (Pointing at each of us.) "Spanish, Portuguese, Hebrew..."
  

Me: "I'm not Portuguese."

Team Member #2: "I thought you were 2% or 3% Portuguese. I think I remember you telling me that."

Me: "No, I'm not. Also, [Colleague #1] does not know Hebrew."

I was already beginning to lose faith.

Me: "ANY other ideas?"

Team Member #3: "Let's sing them a song." (Beginning to sing in a monotone voice) "Welcome..."

Me:  Being that the song actually began with the word "welcome", I tentatively asked to hear the rest.

Team Member #3: (Continuing in the same monotone voice) Welcome, welcome voc-a-tion. Keep on walking in that di-rec-tion. (Pointing towards the exit.)

Me: "Oh my god... we are trying to WELCOME these people. Are there any other ideas!?"

Team Member #4: "I'm still mad that I have to get up so early. I'm just gonna be picketing outside when the guests come."

Conclusion: Every other department in the company was formally introduced to the guests.

Our team was instructed to smile and wave.