10 More Memorable Colleague Quotes

I have been getting a lot of requests recently to post more colleague quotes. In order to feed the demand, I dug through my archives and found some more wonderful moments from the past. Let's start off with this...

#1. Deep Dish Mambo Combo
Every time this song came on the radio, my boss would say "hey, it's your song!" Apparently he was convinced that I was the Maracas guy in this commercial. I don't even have a mustache...

#2. Annual Review Time
Fellow Colleague (Discussing upcoming review): "For you it's fine because you're the golden child and everything you do is wonderful. But for me, especially this year, they're going to rip me to shreds!"

#3. Great Advice For Injured Elderly Co-Worker
Elderly Colleague with an injured leg hobbles into our office and is obviously in a lot of pain.
HR (Smiling): "Hello speedy, you should go to Yoga. It will kill you!"

#4. Feedback From Boss after Handing in Excel Projects
Let it first be known that my project had many more colors than my colleague's.
Boss to Me: "Great job!"
Boss to Co-worker: "There were too many colors! They made me dizzy... I almost threw up!"

#5. More Positive Boss Feedback
Me: "You're not being very positive."
Boss: "I am positive. I am positively sure things are going to get worse!"

#6. Blame
Boss: "I blame you for most of my troubles."

#7. Hatred
Boss: "I hate you."

This was also said many times to me in Chinese. See video below from 0:58 - 1:14.


Detailed Description from Video: You're my enemy and I want you to die.

#8. Continued Words of Encouragement
I tried to improve upon an existing project by including clear and concise notes.
Co-worker #1: "These comments are really screwing everybody up."
Co-worker #2: "These notes are horrible. It makes it impossible to see anything."
Co-worker #3: "You suck."

#9. Verbal Threat
Over the summer months I was told (approximately twice per day) that I would be chained to the metal picnic table outside, where I would roast in the hot sun. They called it the hot box.

#10. Non-Verbal Threat
Me (Speaking to co-worker): "Hey, would you like to join our work group?"
Co-worker: Stares at me and immediately pulls out a large knife from his drawer.