I always have crazy stories that I like to share with my family. Unfortunately, there are so many things that happen throughout the week, I usually forget a lot of them. However, because they enjoy the craziness so much, my grandma gave me a little notebook so I can record the stories/quotes as they happen.
However before I list some of the quotes, it must be noted that within the first couple of months the "Little Book of Big Ideas" was stolen not once, but twice.
First Time Stolen: The book was stolen and then returned to my desk anonymously. Upon opening it I learned that I had the first quote. It read:
Me: "I am a moron... why?"
Second Time Stolen: I came back from vacation to find my notebook in Lime Jello. Surprisingly this wasn't the first time something of mine was put in Jello.
My Stapler Remover.
Big fans of the Office...
Luckily the book was covered in a plastic bag, so no damage was done and the craziness can still be shared. Here are a few examples:
Memorable Colleague Quotes
#1. (Politely checking to see if my co-worker needed help with a project.)
Me: Are you busy right now?
Colleague: "Of course I'm busy. There's a little thing people do around here... it's called work"
#2. (Speaking with co-worker.)
Me: Do you have any ideas on this?
Colleague: "No, I'm stupid, remember? I don't have any ideas. You should have already known that before asking!"
#3. (Overheard during the day.)
Colleague: "I just have one more question"
HR: "It's taking all my willpower right now to not take this pen and stab you in the neck!"
#4. (We have a company shredding box that was nearing max capacity, but I still needed to shred some documents. Pickup is usually weekly, but I wasn't sure of the next scheduled pick-up. To be considerate I decided to check with the person in charge of the shred box before I filled it.)
Me: "Can I put some more documents in the shredding box or is the next pickup soon?"
Colleague: "I'll send you the bill, you friggen jerk!"
#5. (Playing doubles ping-pong during lunch. I lost 0 points so far for the team, my teammate lost 7. I haven't said anything to him up until this point.)
Me: (I finally miss a shot...)
Colleague: (Yelling at me in Greek accent) "Come on, you Moron!!!"
#6. (Trying to get help in order to recover a file)
IT Guy: Send the file to me it will be fixed in a few minutes.
Me: (2 Hours Later) Hey, were you able to fix my document?
IT Guy: "It froze my whole computer..."
Me: Okay, thanks.
#7. (Walking back to my desk, I see one of my colleagues on the phone.)
Colleague: (Looks up at me while still on the phone) "Oh, here comes the little jerk now!"
#8. (Speaking with my boss.)
Me: "My best friend hates me"
Manager: "I can tell you right now, he's not the only one."
#9. Colleague #1 threatened to "Ray Rice" Colleague #2 in the elevator.
#10. (During a company wide initiative to free up everyone's outlook e-mail inbox storage space, the IT guys came to each computer to help delete unneeded e-mails and files. Obviously the less space you take up the better. However, the following brief conversation did happen during the process...)
IT Guy: Need help cleaning out your mailbox? Our records show you have a lot of old e-mails.
Manager: (Extremely big smile on his face) Outlook is telling me that my file size in ENORMOUS.
However before I list some of the quotes, it must be noted that within the first couple of months the "Little Book of Big Ideas" was stolen not once, but twice.
First Time Stolen: The book was stolen and then returned to my desk anonymously. Upon opening it I learned that I had the first quote. It read:
Me: "I am a moron... why?"
Second Time Stolen: I came back from vacation to find my notebook in Lime Jello. Surprisingly this wasn't the first time something of mine was put in Jello.
My Stapler Remover.
Big fans of the Office...
Luckily the book was covered in a plastic bag, so no damage was done and the craziness can still be shared. Here are a few examples:
Memorable Colleague Quotes
#1. (Politely checking to see if my co-worker needed help with a project.)
Me: Are you busy right now?
Colleague: "Of course I'm busy. There's a little thing people do around here... it's called work"
#2. (Speaking with co-worker.)
Me: Do you have any ideas on this?
Colleague: "No, I'm stupid, remember? I don't have any ideas. You should have already known that before asking!"
#3. (Overheard during the day.)
Colleague: "I just have one more question"
HR: "It's taking all my willpower right now to not take this pen and stab you in the neck!"
#4. (We have a company shredding box that was nearing max capacity, but I still needed to shred some documents. Pickup is usually weekly, but I wasn't sure of the next scheduled pick-up. To be considerate I decided to check with the person in charge of the shred box before I filled it.)
Me: "Can I put some more documents in the shredding box or is the next pickup soon?"
Colleague: "I'll send you the bill, you friggen jerk!"
#5. (Playing doubles ping-pong during lunch. I lost 0 points so far for the team, my teammate lost 7. I haven't said anything to him up until this point.)
Me: (I finally miss a shot...)
Colleague: (Yelling at me in Greek accent) "Come on, you Moron!!!"
#6. (Trying to get help in order to recover a file)
IT Guy: Send the file to me it will be fixed in a few minutes.
Me: (2 Hours Later) Hey, were you able to fix my document?
IT Guy: "It froze my whole computer..."
Me: Okay, thanks.
#7. (Walking back to my desk, I see one of my colleagues on the phone.)
Colleague: (Looks up at me while still on the phone) "Oh, here comes the little jerk now!"
#8. (Speaking with my boss.)
Me: "My best friend hates me"
Manager: "I can tell you right now, he's not the only one."
#9. Colleague #1 threatened to "Ray Rice" Colleague #2 in the elevator.
#10. (During a company wide initiative to free up everyone's outlook e-mail inbox storage space, the IT guys came to each computer to help delete unneeded e-mails and files. Obviously the less space you take up the better. However, the following brief conversation did happen during the process...)
IT Guy: Need help cleaning out your mailbox? Our records show you have a lot of old e-mails.
Manager: (Extremely big smile on his face) Outlook is telling me that my file size in ENORMOUS.
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