The Blue Shirt

I normally wear either white or light blue dress shirts to work and I usually have the same five shirt rotation throughout the week.

(Currently reading this to my mom)
Mom: "Don't admit that. You should have more clothes." "People are going to think you only have five shirts."

(Typing)

Mom: "You're not going to put that are you?"

One of my weekly shirts was too wrinkled so I found another shirt in my closet and decided to wear that one instead. It is a similar color to the one on the right.

I put it on and headed to work, not really thinking much into it.  

Worst mistake of my life.

9:02AM
Colleague #1: "Is that a new shirt?"
Colleague #2: "New shirt?"

Me: "No"

(Argument over the shirt.)
Colleague #1: "Is that like a Royal Blue."
Colleague #2: "No it's an Indigo."

9:05AM - 5:30PM
Colleague #3: "Look at you in your bright blue shirt."
Colleague #3: "That's a power shirt."
Colleague #4: "I like your shirt."
Colleague #5: "That's a nice shirt."
Colleague #6: "Woah, nice shirt!"
Colleague #12: "That's the shirt of a leader."
Colleague #1: "You look like you lost weight."
Colleague #7: "You look dashing today."
Colleague #8: "You and Colleague #9 are soulmates. You have the same color shirt."
Colleague #7: "You look like a police officer."
Colleague #10: "Aww, look how cute that shirt is."
Colleague #7: "You look beautiful today."
Colleague #11: "You look so handsome today."
Colleague #3: "Take your blue shirt elsewhere."
Colleague #7: "Look at him with his grandpa pants."

After a long day of harassment I finally arrived home...

Mom: "That's a nice outfit you have on. Where did you get it?"

...

My All Time Favorite Scene of "The Office"

The Moroccan Setup

I received the following text from my Mom earlier in the day:

"Would you like to join me at a Moroccan restaurant when you get home?"

When I got home I immediately tried changing her mind.

Me: "Can we get something else?"

Mom: "Moroccan food is good, you'll like it"

Me:  "I'm sure I won't... this is definitely a setup"

Mom: "Have new experiences, try something new, be adventurous."

Me:  "Ughh, every time you say that it ends up bad for me."


Long story short, we ended up going to the Moroccan place.


At the Restaurant
It was a good sign when we walked in the door and there was not one other person in the restaurant.

I sat down and looked at the menu. I immediately noticed there was no hamburger section. There were a bunch of kebabs, salads, soups and mixes of different meats with spices and rice. Shwarma? Fattoush? Harira? Where are the mozzarella sticks?

I went with my gut and just ordered something I thought would be good.

The waitress gave us some appetizers to start. I saw some pita bread, but I couldn't identify anything else on the giant plate.

"Why couldn't we just have stopped at Burger King", I thought.


 

I decided to eat something that looked like a pepper. It burned my tongue. Luckily I had a bottle of Coke to cool me down.

Mom: "Dip the pita bread in this. Its hummus, its really good."

Thinking I could trust my own mother, I complied.

It tasted like sand.

Note to self: never trust your mother.

After verbally showing my dislike for the hummus, my mom immediately shot back.

Mom: "Maybe you should expand your horizons instead of just hamburgers and chicken cutlets, hamburgers and chicken cutlets, hamburgers and chicken cutlets. Pizza, hamburgers & chicken cutlets. Hamburgers, Pizza Hut, and chicken cutlets."


Then our food came.

I was hesitant when I first ordered, but my Moroccan meal turned out to be everything I hoped it would be.

TWO ORDERS of FRIED CHICKEN WINGS W/ RANCH!!!


Me: "Is this Morrocan food?"

Mom: "No, it's just for dummies who don't appreciate good healthy food."


The Drive Home
Mom: "See, you found something you liked."

Me: "Nope, you set me up."

Mom: "It wasn't a setup I knew they'd have something you like, like chicken, rice or beef."

(I pulled out my phone and started to type up our conversation.)

Mom: "What? Are you bloggin me now? You little bast**d..."



Later That Night

Mom: "Thank you for coming with me. I will never take you again."