"You dress like a grandpa and drive like a grandma"
This is just a small sample of how my colleagues view my driving ability.
Anyway... on to the story.
I was driving on the highway Thursday night just peacefully coming home from work. I had just finished eating my sixteen boneless wings from Pizza Hut (Not relevant to the story, but just noted for my records). Eight honey BBQ & Eight Buffalo.
I was in the left lane and I sped up to try and pass another car in the middle lane. Unfortunately I saw a police car waiting on the side of the road and by that time it was too late to slow down. Shortly after, the cop drove up behind me, the lights went on and I was pulled over.
Note: Some people actually speed up to try and lose the cop, but I didn't really want to go to jail. Plus I had some fantasy football research to do later that night.
The officer came up to my passenger side, assuming that I was armed and dangerous. However, once he heard "My Heart Will Go On" playing from my iPod I think he became more relaxed. Then this is how the conversation went:
Officer: "Have you ever been pulled over by a state officer?"
Me: "No." (Thinking: well I did get pulled over for going 33 in a 25 before down the shore, but I don't think that was a state officer. It was prom weekend, which was about ten years ago, wow I can't believe it has been ten...)
Officer: "I clocked you going 85 in a 65. License, registration & proof of insurance please."
Me: (Already prepared, I handed him the documentation.) "Sorry, here you go" (I apologized as my insurance card was almost ripped in half from when I first opened the envelope it came in.)
At this point I expected him to be impressed because I already had the documentation ready before he asked.
Officer: (Didn't look impressed) "I will be right back." (Went back to his car to check my criminal record)
As I waited from him to return, I had more pressing matters to deal with. For the two fantasy football leagues I was in, I actually ended up getting the third pick in both. So at this point I was checking cbssports, rotoworld, yahoo etc. to see who I should take third overall. For standard leagues it is pretty straightforward, but this year both of my leagues happen to be PPR. I was torn between three players, but unfortunately the cop came back before I could decide.
Officer: "I'm going to cut you a break. Normally you would be getting a speeding ticket and you would get points on your license. Instead you will just be getting a ticket for delaying traffic, no points."
Me: "Thank you" "I have to tell you my family, friends and co-workers always make fun of me for drive too conservatively. They won't believe this"
Officer: "Well, I'm cutting you getting a break here."
He walked back to his car and by this time he had two other police vehicles parked behind him. I looked at the ticket he gave me, but noticed that there was no proof to show that I was going 85MPH. Thinking I needed to get proof to show my family and friends I walked back to the officer and his partner.
Me: "Is there any way I can get something to show that I was going over the speed limit so I can show my friends & family?"
Officer: "No, if I gave you a ticket you would be getting points on your license."
Me: "Okay, thank you." (I then walked to my car and drove home)
Upon telling my colleagues this story, here are a few comments that I received.
#1. You're dumb.
#2. What, are you asking for a ticket!?
#3. I'm surprised you didn't get shot or tazed.
#4. If I was that cop I would have thrown you out of the car and beat the hell out of you with a nightstick!
