Amazing Pizza Hut Lunch

Make it Great
Normally I go to Fuddruckers on Fridays for lunch, but when a group of colleagues decided to go to Pizza Hut I just couldn't pass up the opportunity. Now I was hesitant at first, because the last two groups of people I went to Pizza Hut with got sick afterwards. They told me that they would never go to Pizza Hut again.

I told them that their bodies just aren't used to handling great food. They've hated me ever since.

I warned my fellow colleagues of these past lunch experiences, but five were still willing to go despite the naysayers (normally our Friday lunch groups range from eight to ten, but not today). With the group confirmed we headed off to the best pizza place in the world.

First Impressions
Upon arrival I noticed two things:
#1. There was a chalk board on the wall that said "Pizza Hut is #1". They couldn't be more right.

#2. One of the employees there also works the night shift at a second Pizza Hut (about 20 minutes away). I figured that would be the case because Pizza Hut only hires experts. Only a select few can make a true Pizza Hut deep dish pizza with that delicious golden brown crust.

Side Note: I know this is the same employee because I usually pick up a pizza from the second Pizza Hut on my way home from work (on Monday's about once a month). Same great quality.

"Fun" Fact: About 1-2 years ago I picked up a pizza and came out to the parking lot only to find a stalker colleague taking pictures of me. Scary...

Ordering & Anarchy
Anyway, we sat down to find that we were the only six people in the restaurant. After noticing this, Colleague #3 kept saying how bad Pizza Hut was and that they were going to be out of business soon.

Colleague #3: "The land this restaurant is on is probably worth more than the entire business."

I wanted to KILL Colleague #3. However, I kept my composure and promised myself that I would simply just fire him in the next couple of weeks. Problem solved.

We ended up ordering 2 Large Pan Pizzas (one cheese & one half veggie lovers/one half hawaiian-luau) and an order of five breadsticks. The waiter was nice enough to cut the breadsticks into ten pieces. Great service.

Let it be known that the ham and pineapple pizza (hawaiian-luau) was ordered by Colleague #3, despite that fact that he shouldn't eat meat on Fridays during lent.

Holy Visitors
Around the same time of ordering, two nuns entered the restaurant (this is not the beginning of a joke, it's a true story). They ordered mozzarella sticks with Pizza Huts famous marinara sauce.

Fact: Even god loves Pizza Hut.

A short while later our pizza arrived and we all started to feast.

Note: Although no words were spoken by the Nuns, it was obvious they were NOT happy with Colleague #3's choice of pizza.

In the end, our pizza was so good that not a single slice was left (16/16). Compliments to the chef! Even better, the total bill (with tip) came out to only $29!!! The entire meal cost less than $5 per person!!! Amazing. 

The Results Are In!
After lunch I decided to check in on my colleagues to see how they were feeling. Here were the results:
Colleague #1: Felt okay
Colleague #2: Felt tired
Colleague #3: Felt sick
Me: Felt amazing (10/10)
Colleague #4: Felt good
Colleague #5: Felt very good. This person even mentioned that she felt so good she wanted to have Pizza Hut the next morning for breakfast! Awesome!

Colleague #5 suggested that Colleague #3 was the only one sick because the nuns put a curse on him. Well deserved.

Thank you for reading. Please share your love for Pizza Hut in the comments below. 

Supermarket Sweep

Benny R.'s Job Interview

Shocking News
I was recently informed that over the past couple of months, Benny R. got engaged and then MARRIED his BFF Oscar.

I was surprised about this for a few reasons:

#1. I didn't hear about an engagement party or any type of wedding.
#2. Both dogs are still very young.
#3. I didn't realize that Benny R. & Oscar were much more than friends. 
#4. Everything happened so fast.

However, I guess when your talking in terms of dog years (one human year = seven dog years), everything in life happens more quickly. Even so, I still think that seven years old is a little too young to get married.

Although unlike Benny R., I am no prodigy.

Being that Benny R. is now married, his owner told me that he must now look for a job in order to support his new husband.

Again, I believe there are child labor laws that prevent this, but when you're a dog I guess these rules don't apply?

Anyway I thought, if he could learn to jump on the couch and drink a gallon of water all in one day, working at an office job would be a breeze. So after just a few more minutes of internal debate, I agreed to interview him.  

The Interview
His owner told me that he would be coming into the office for an interview at 5PM (It was 4PM at that time). Despite the extremely short notice we scheduled the meeting for 5PM.

Around 4:50PM I was called by Customer Care to let me know that my interviewee had arrived. 

At this point I was optimistic that Benny R. understood the importance of making a good first impression. "Early is on time and on-time is late."

I eagerly headed on over to the interview room to meet him. Unfortunately, I was not as impressed with his choice of office attire.

Normally, business professionals come in for interviews wearing a suit and tie. Depending on the type of job, sometimes even just a shirt and tie would be considered acceptable. However I walked into the room and immediately noticed that Benny R. wasn't wearing anything at all!

I didn't know if it was a joke or what, but I was not very pleased.

Despite this, I remained professional (ignoring his unacceptable attire or lack thereof) and continued on with the interview.

How is your commute?
Short. I learned that Benny R. actually ran three miles to the interview.

Tell me a little about yourself.
- Benny R. can eat a pound of ground beef in one sitting.
- Benny R. does not have rain boots. A rain jacket was given to him, but it doesn't fit.

Strengths
- Favorite program is Powerpoint.

Weaknesses
- Least favorite Program is Microsoft Word (He can't type).

Fun Fact
- Benny R. likes commercials with dogs (He barks at the TV).

References
After the interview, I decided to contact a couple references to get the real scoop on Benny R. Here is the information I received:

Reference #1: Benny R. is smart/intelligent. He can handle anything and is very flexible. He's one of a kind.

Reference #2: Benny R. is cute, lovable & soft.

Although possibly very biased, these opinions were factored into my ultimate decision.

My Final Evaluation
Overall I believe that Benny R. has many great qualities and skills that would make him a good candidate for this position.

Some of these abilities include but are not limited to the following:

Strengths

 
#1. Possessing the rare talent of eating a pound of ground beef in one sitting.
#2. The ability to solve difficult math problems all in his head. (100% accuracy)
#3. He's cute and soft.
#4. He has the eagerness and willingness to growl at and bite his fellow co-workers.

Now while Benny R. obviously has skills that can help add value to our team, there were some things that I simply could not overlook.

Weaknesses:

#1. Benny R. cannot type on the computer, so he has difficulty using Excel and Word (He barks at others to do it for him. That is actually kind of rude.)
#2. He does not have rain boots. Running to work 3 miles per day barefoot will lead to muddy paw prints in the office. I like the dedication, just not the mess.
#3. Benny R. came completely naked to the interview. (Definitely not appropriate in an office setting)
#4. When the interview was over I thanked him. He growled at me...

Final Decision
Unfortunately, I do not feel that Benny R. would be best fit for this role. However, with his love of Powerpoint, his strong sense of creativity and his free spirit I feel that Benny R. would be best suited for either a job in Marketing or Graphic Design. I would suggest that he come in for a second interview.

Prediction: In 2016, Benny R. & Oscar will adopt a puppy.